Three years ago I wrote an essay about people I’m afraid of. I still mostly stand by that article. However, I want to address some things. I’m no longer afraid of these people. They are there, and we can be aware of them and do something about their impact. But there is nothing to be afraid of. It’s easy to spot such people.
However, today I want to talk about different a kind of people. Today, people who are the most dangerous to me are not “one-dimensional” people I described years ago. The most dangerous people are complicated people that talk about being kind and empathetic, but in real-life situations, they are often the exact opposite.
I’ve met a decent amount of people in my life who claimed to be empathetic. They usually also seem to love dogs and maybe even care about big causes like nature, education, etc. They would talk to you about love, empathy, and all the noble issues.
However, when you see them act in life in real-world situations - that is where everything breaks up. Those people actually can not emphasize with anyone. They can feel their pain, but for some reason, they can’t feel other people’s feelings.
They do crazy things. Because they can’t see that their actions may cause to other people’s sadness or pain, or anxiety, or anger. Even worse, not only can’t they see it, even if you tell them what you feel - they would not understand. They wouldn’t be able to put themselves in your shoes. They will continue with doing what they are doing.
So why are these people are the most dangerous ones? Because they pretend to be someone they are not. Empathy is an illusion in a sense this word is used today. A lot of modern people claim absolute empathy. They are not aware that at best they can emphasize to the tiny subset of feelings and in tiny subset of situations. This unawareness strikes very hard. Because usually, when you hear that someone is empathetic, you want to trust them. And that is where the reality will hit you.
So what is one can do in such circumstances? Actions speak louder than words. This is one of my core beliefs. People can talk to me about universal love all day. But in reality, very simple life situations can tell much more about them.
If someone cares more about abstract things than everyday simple situations run from them. You deserve better. Simple things in life that is what matters. Care, attention to details, to your dreams, your feelings, your thoughts, your emotions. You can get that.